


Haha, So, Funny Story... I’m Not Dead..?

by XxFandomTrashxX



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: After Eden’s Gate, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Anal Sex, Bottom!Deputy, Coming back from the dead, Deputy’s a fucking bitch, Dirty Talk, Dusty playing along, Dusty/Deputy’s a witch, Explicit Sexual Content, Gay Sex, Humor, I'm Bad At Tagging, Let’s fuck, Like, M/M, Name-Calling, Now that I’m alive again, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Public Sex, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Content, Sharky being Sharky, Sharky’s a kitsune, Supernatural Elements, Top!Sharky, Tsundere, i hope that’s how you tag that, its fucking rude
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 05:55:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20130445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxFandomTrashxX/pseuds/XxFandomTrashxX
Summary: Sharky and Dusty go to the Spread Eagle, the former deputy wanting to get a little wild behind the bar with the pyro.





	Haha, So, Funny Story... I’m Not Dead..?

Having your friend die and come back is... odd, and that’s saying the least, so, when Dusty showed up on Sharky’s doorstep, it was... freaky... and... well, how the fuck is anyone suppose to respond to that weird ass shit? So, like anyone in the Drubman/Boshaw family would do, he said ‘Hey, let’s go to the Spread Eagle’, and despite the former deputy’s complaints, that’s exactly what they did.

Dusty didn’t drink much, just one shot of bourbon (him wanting to switch it up a little), and a glass of water, Sharky drinking two bottles of beer, which was a lot less than normal, and if anyone asked him why, he wouldn’t tell them that he wasn’t feeling it, because that would put all his alcohol loving ancestors to shame.

Leaving the bar, that was... Mary wanted to converse, but Dusty wanted to leave, saying the spell he was using wouldn’t last much longer and the secret would be out, he whispered that into Sharky’s ear, of course... and somehow, by the grace of God he assumes, he was able to slip away.

“So... how’s being alive been..?” he asks, following Dusty

“Mmm, great, I got to have some pizza the other day, haven’t had it in a long time...” he grunts quietly as he jumps off the porch in front of the Spread Eagle, making his way behind the building.

“Sounds fun, pizza is amazing, no one can deny that... where are you going..?” he narrows his eyes slightly at the shorter man.

“...behind the bar..? This is the back, if you didn’t know...”

“Yeah, I knew that, but why? Do you have to piss or something? They have a bathroom inside for that, and I have the closet in my house...”

“...Jesus fucking-... look, no, stop, Okay, so... God, you have me confused now...” he stops, inhaling and exhaling deeply before continuing, “So, you’re dropping me off at my house after, correct?” he asks, meeting Sharky’s eyes again.

“....Yesss...?” he draws, furrowing his eyebrows, having not planned this far ahead, uncertainty laces his voice.

“Then, I want you, Charlemagne Victor Boshaw the goddamn IV, to fuck me, right here, behind the Spread Eagle”

“Now?” Dusty nods, “In broad daylight?” he nods again, “Is this because everyone at the department besides Staci think your dead? You can be illegal now?” Dusty pauses for a few moments, seemingly thinking it over before nodding again, “Haha, say no more, Amigo, you know I’m great at breaking the law, especially the one about public- public... being naked in public...”

“Public Indecency?”

“THAT! YES, I’m great at that! Okay, so, what are we doing?”

Dusty smiles, grabbing the front of Sharky’s sweatshirt and pulling him down into a heated kiss, making the taller man make a noise of surprise, not having expected such enthusiasm.

Dusty turns them around, backing Sharky up until his back hits the wall of the bar, the pyro’s hands slipping down to hold his hips as he moves them, they break apart for a few moments to breathe, their panting being the only thing audible at the moment.

“When are you going to try an regain your throne of the dominant one..?” Dusty asks between breaths, a smile playing on his lips, those red, swollen, and glossy lips that have been in so many places, one of those being-

“Uh, whenever you want me to...? I’m like, already getting to fuck a dead dude that... isn’t... really...”

“Dead?”

“Yeah”

“Are you uncomfortable..?”

“No, no, no, you’re alive, you were dead, but not anymore, yeah, fucking...” Sharky exhales quietly, gently squeezing the former deputy’s hips when his smile begins to fade, “Man, I’m going to fuck you so hard you die again...” he says, unsure how else to approach the topic, so, sex, the main way Sharky approaches any topic, and death, not something he talks about as often, at least not saying he’s going to murder his friend, especially one that was just dead.

Dusty chuckles, pressing his body against Sharky’s, he places his face in the crook of the kitsune’s neck, “You promise..?”

“As long as I get a blowjob when you get back, because you do that.”

“Making me work to die again? Well, if I must... I promise I will, just give me something to work for...”

“My ‘big ass dick’ isn’t enough? I’m also breaking the law for you, is this not enough? I mean, c’mon, bro, I’m putting all my cards on the table...”

Dusty sighs exaggeratedly, smile playing on his lips, “Make this worth my while and we’ll see...”

“You’re the one who wanted this! I just jumped the opportunity!”

“...true...” at this point, Dusty already has both of their pants unbuttoned and unzipped, he nips at Sharky’s neck, slipping his hand beneath the pyro’s boxers and gently pumping, this action making Sharky snap back to his senses, he inhales sharply.

“Fuck! You’re really desperate, little amigo....”

“I haven’t had sex that much in the past year or two...”

“Couldn’t... you masturbate or something...?”

“I’m usually busy or dead...”

“Busy being dead... eh, fair argument... ah, fuck!” he chokes on the last word as he bucks up into Dusty’s hand, knocking both his dick and the former deputy’s hand into... said former deputy’s own dick, causing him to move his unoccupied hand up to cover his mouth, also tightening his grip slightly on Sharky’s cock.

“That... was a train wreck of occurrences...” Dusty says, voice muffled by his hand.

“Y-you really think so?” Sharky asks with a breathy chuckle.

“Shut up and-“

“Dance with me?”

“Keep it up and I’ll never talk to you again”

“Awe, But we can still fuck, right? No words exchanged?”

“Holy mother of sin I’m going to murder you...” a bottle of lube materializes in his hand, he hands it to Sharky, backing up slightly so he can take his shoes, jeans, and underwear off.

“Dude, that’s some amazing magic, very useful...” he says, looking the bottle over.

“Yep, I found some pretty weird spells in my book, change a few of the words and/or ingredients and bam, something so much more useful...” he says, moving back over to the wall, he moves his legs apart, bracing his hands on the wall.

“...Wow... you’re a really cool dude, huh?”

“Be quiet and fuck me...” he mutters, looking over at Sharky with a slightly annoyed expression.

“Haha, yessir...” he says nervously, stepping over Dusty’s discarded clothes and getting behind the smaller man.

Sharky opens the bottle and squirts some on his hand, setting it on the ground after and warming it up between his hands before spreading Dusty’s cheeks and gently rubbing his finger over his hole.

“Hurry up, Casey, Mary, or God forbid one of the citizens or visitors could come out at any minute and see us...” he says, breathing hitching slightly when Sharky puts a finger in, originally going to make Dusty wait for the reward and suffer while waiting for him to be ready, he thrusts his finger in and out at a decent pace after hearing his little complaint, adding a second after about ten seconds, and a third after twenty more, scissoring him open.

“Well, I mean, I don’t want to rip you in half, so, chill”

“Haha, But what if I want you to?”

“Then I guess you’ll have to live with the cards you were dealt, now...” he removes his fingers, Dusty making a disappointed sound at the empty feeling, “Since you’re so eager, I guess I’ll humor you, but don’t complain, I wanted to prepare you and you didn’t want it...” he says, almost sounding bored, picking up the bottle and getting some more lube on his hand before applying it to his cock and positioning himself behind Dusty, cockhead teasing his hole before Dusty moves back against it, pushing it inside, Sharky moves his hands up to hold his hips so he can take his time rather than being completely forced in all at once.

“C’mon, please? I know you wanna...” he whines, wiggling his ass as best as possible.

“Do you want me to nail you? It’ll hurt like hell, dude, that’s why I’m just tryna ease into it and stay chill, that and I also might’ve burnt down some of the forest near my house and need to lay low for a bit, but still, in any case, I don’t want to hurt you...”

“I love the concern, but I told you to fuck me, so, as one world expect, I want you, to fuck me, preferably without an audience, but I mean, as long as your dick ends up in my ass and moving, whatever”

“My dick is in your ass, still has yet to move, but the task is almost complete, so, that’s good”

“Then finish the task...”

“Do you want me to-“

“Just fuck me, I don’t care how, but I’ll go get Max to do it if you won’t, disturb him while he’s working and blame you, he probably won’t care much, BUT STILL”

Sharky freezes for a few moments, unsure how to take it, he gently thrusts in and out, working his way in, he stops when he’s completely in, letting Dusty adjust.

“Now, nail me, or something because I’m really horny right now and would prefer an not wait fifteen minutes to get back then bother Max.”

“Jesus, your an asshole when your horny...”

“Maybe if I had sex more often, I wouldn’t be, but who’s fault is that?”

“Yours, it’s totally your fault...”

“.... fuck you...”

“It’s actually the other way around right now.”

“Then do something so I can remember.”

“Oh, so you can remember? Alrighty, buckle up, little amigo” he draws his hips back, thrusting sharply back in, he moans lowly, continuing, he speed up, making sure to bury himself deep inside the shorter man with each thrust, pushing him into the wall, it’s honestly a wonder that no one comes out to see what the racket is as Dusty cries out, mostly pleasure, but also pain, cause, he’s being drilled into a goddamn building, but that’s beside the point.

Sharky moves his left hand up to grip Dusty’s hair, pulling him up so his back rests against the pyro’s chest, Sharky’s right hand snaking under his sweatshirt and t-shirt, traveling up his stomach to his pecs and playing with his nipples, squeezing the now erect nubs and twisting them, only hard enough to boarder on becoming painful, he continues this for about a minute, keeping the same bruising pace before switching the positioning of his hands, the right going back down and gripping the boy’s cock, pumping it in time with his thrusts, the left moving from his hair down to his neck, his middle and forefinger on his jaw, he pushes on it to make him turn his head to look at him, “How’s this for ya’? Do you fuckin’ like being treated like a toy? Getting your little pussy pounded in the open for anyone who gets curious to see?”

Dusty’s sobbing at this point, he nods, coherent words and sentences lost long ago, the response makes Sharky smile and press their lips together, kissing him harshly, Dusty kisses back, trying his best to match Sharky’s... enthusiasm, but failing, falling behind by a little, but none the less, Sharky doesn’t seem to care though, biting his lip with his teeth, resembling that of a canine (him being a kitsune), and slipping his tongue in when Dusty opens his mouth, gasping, his tongue explores the cavern that he’s learned like the back of his hand, and during this time, he realizes how lonely he is and that he needs to get a life, he tucks this thought into the back of his mind, under ‘Shit you need’ in the cabinets.

His tongue moves out of Dusty’s mouth to lap the blood dotting his lip away before he pulls out, “You’re so fuckin’ good for me...” he mumbles against his neck, licking and nipping at it, reaching his peak, and wanting Dusty to do the same, he stops the short and quick thrusts, pulling out enough that only the head is in, before slamming back in, he only gets to do this three times before he hits Dusty’s prostate, the boy coming on Sharky’s hand and on the ground before them, body tensing up, the feeling of Dusty’s insides flexing around him and the warmth and wetness sending Sharky over the edge, he bites Dusty’s neck as he comes, filling the witch with his sticky seed before pulling out, both of their legs weak, Sharky licks over the wound, saying a small, ‘Oops, Sorry..” before moving his dirty hand to tuck himself away, moving them both over so he can grab Dusty’s pants and underwear and help him get back in them, picking him up bridal style and taking him to his car, he sets him in the passenger’s seat* “Haha, looks like you’re actually coming home with me, cause now you owe me a blowjob!” he says with a smile when he gets in the drivers seat and shuts the door behind him, the statement earning him a punch from Dusty, even though the boys ass hurts like hell, it pales in comparison to most of the shit he’s gone through, so, whatever.

“As long as I can wash up first, I’m good...”

“Hell Yeah, plumber came and fixed it the other day, so you’re good to go!”

Dusty smiles, turning on the radio as they pull away, and not to surprise anyone, but ‘Disco Inferno’ was playing, and on loop at that.


End file.
